Dinner with the locals

Dining out with a group of Thai locals is a very different experience from what I've had so far in Thailand.

Here you eat out a lot more than you cook at home. In fact, I know Westerners who lived here for a year and never owned a single plate or cooking implement (you know who I'm talking to). It's just so cheap! In fact, having cooked for myself a few times, I doubt I paid less cooking my crummy pasta and sauce at home than I would have paid going to a restaurant or street vendor.

My lunch today cost me THB25 - not even a dollar. By comparison, a packet of instant noodles and some thinly sliced beef from the supermarket (mixed with a little left-over chilli sauce) cost me about THB80.

So all of that is just to say that I've been eating out a lot, but up until tonight, always with other farang, and maybe one or two Thai people.

Tonight, I went out with the locals to a local eating place - a place where you sat on plastic stools, at plastic tables, on the footpath, next to the road, and you were surrounded by the kitchen. Several vendors cooking salted fish, chicken, seafood, stir fries ... I've been to places like this before at lunch time, but again, always with ex-pats showing me their favourite spots.

On the way there tonight, my hosts were kind enough to ask me what my favourite Thai dishes were. These are what they ordered first. And then they ordered a bunch of stuff I've never eaten, seen, heard of, or even thought about eating before.

I was handed a menu when I sat down, but instead of ordering, I was too busy taking photos of the Thinglish to try to decipher what I may want to eat.

What I did eat was the usual som tam (green paw paw salad), tom yum gai, and gai yang (grilled chicken). But then I also impressed them with my willingness to try the gung chae nam-pla (raw prawn salad), deep-fried pig intestines (for which I cannot remember the Thai name), and boiled (or possibly raw) miniature seashell creatures, which I told them were called pippies. This brought much amusement, possibly because I either sounded like I was saying "Phi Phi" or sounded like the Road Runner.

There was much concern for my weak gastro-intestinal system, and at the first sign of my breaking into a sweat at the extra level of spiciness served up to and by the locals, I was handed copious amounts of fluid, bland fried chicken, and toilet paper (more on this in another post).

My hosts were most gracious, and I felt honoured to have been invited out with them for a meal. While most of the conversation I didn't understand, they did go out of their way to interpret the funny and meaningful parts, and some parts which I still do not understand.

After dinner we retired to the air conditioned shopping centre, where I discovered that the phenomenon of women going to the toilet in packs knows no cultural boundaries. And neither does men standing around outside the toilets, trying to look purposeful and suave.

We went to an ice cream house for dessert. I was informed that they have a contest, where you have to put an entire scoop of ice cream in your mouth, and see who can finish it first. I now believe that this game was actually invented for my benefit, and was not, as I originally thought, a regular Friday night event.

Needless to say, the westerner with the big mouth won, but only just. O gave me a run for my money.

We wandered the shopping centre looking at make-up and trying to figure out what the Thai word for Balmain Bugs is (also known in some backwaters as Moreton Bay Bugs). Eventually there was agreement on the name, and I discovered that the English translation of the Thai name means "back-stroke crab". Our Balmain girl, Dawn Fraser, would be proud.

Dining with my Thai friends tonight has given me a new appreciation of several things.

Firstly, of my work colleagues. Even though we work for the same company, these are people who were complete strangers until about three weeks ago. They are hard workers, they love life, and they enjoy socialising together. And they're welcoming enough to allow an outsider to join them.

Secondly, of what it's like being the only person who doesn't speak the language. I've only experienced this once before while travelling in Seoul. Here I was lucky enough to have some friendly faces to interpret and make sure I didn't eat too many of the "toxic" shellfish.

Those of you from Australia will know that there is a section of the community at home with the attitude "if you want to live in our country, learn the language". Here I am, living and working in their country, with only the faintest spattering of Thai to get me through, and these beautiful people go out of their way to make me feel at home.

Finally, I have a new appreciation of my favourite food group - ice cream. It's good to know that wherever you are in the world, you can still get a scoop of something called "chocolate fudge brownie".

D.